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[ [ [['did not go as far his colleague', 8]], '29438204', '0' ], [ [[' the 28-year-old neighborhood watchman who shot and killed', 4]], '28924649', '0' ], [ [['because I know God protects me', 14], ['Brian Snow was at a nearby credit union', 5]], '28811216', '0' ], [ [['The state news agency RIA-Novosti quoted Rosaviatsiya', 6]], '28805461', '0' ], [ [['measure all but certain to fail in the face of bipartisan', 4]], '28771014', '0' ], [ [['matter what you do in this case', 5]], '28759848', '0' ], [ [['presume laws are constitutional', 7]], '28747556', '0' ], [ [['has destroyed 15 to 25 houses', 7]], '28744868', '0' ], [ [['short answer is yes', 7]], '28746030', '0' ], [ [['opportunity to tell the real story', 7]], '28731764', '0' ], [ [['entirely respectable way to put off the searing constitutional controversy', 7]], '28723797', '0' ], [ [['point of my campaign is that big ideas matter', 9]], '28712293', '0' ], [ [['As the standoff dragged into a second day', 7]], '28687424', '0' ], [ [['French police stepped up the search', 17]], '28667224', '0' ], [ [['Seeking to elevate his candidacy back to a general', 8]], '28660934', '0' ], [ [['The tragic story of Trayvon Martin', 4]], '28647343', '0' ], [ [['Karzai will get a chance soon to express', 8]], '28630306', '0' ], [ [['powerful storms stretching', 8]], '28493546', '0' ], [ [['basic norm that death is private', 6]], '28413590', '0' ], [ [['songwriter also saw a surge in sales for her debut album', 6]], '28413590', '1', 'Watch music videos from Whitney Houston ', 'on Yahoo! Music', 'http://music.yahoo.com' ], [ [['keyword', 99999999999999999999999]], 'videoID', '1', 'overwrite-pre-description', 'overwrite-link-string', 'overwrite-link-url' ] ]
Any LA online business that wants to reach millions of internet users should consider hiring services of SEO Los Angeles companies. In this age of online marketing, search engine optimization is an indispensable tool. It is becoming increasingly difficult to maintain visibility on the Internet because there are so many websites. The most effective way for an online business to give its site high rankings in search engines is using the search engine optimization services. If the marketing employees of the business do not have SEO skills, the business should hire an SEO company.
When internet users shop online, they type in keywords and phrases in the search boxes of search engines. For instance, if a person wants to buy curtains, he or she must type ?curtains? in the search box. The search engine will then display a long list of results based on that keyword. Majority of internet users only look at the results that appear on the first page of the search engine. Savvy business owners should aim for high ranks on the search engine. Hiring a proficient Los Angeles SEO company will help the business owners achieve their goals.
Once an online business hires a professional search engine optimization Los Angeles company, the SEO service designs a customized SEO program that addresses the needs of the business. Every online business is different and serves a unique target market. When optimizing a business site, a professional SEO company considers all facets of the business. A lot of business owners do not have SEO knowledge. This is why they need the assistance of an expert.
That?s now changing, thanks to noninvasive prenatal testing (NIPT). As Mara Hvistendahl explained recently in Slate, companies are developing tests that can estimate the risk of a defective pregnancy from fetal DNA in the mother?s own blood, extracted by a regular needle from her arm, like any other blood draw. That means less risk of miscarriage, less stress, less discomfort, less hassle, and lower cost. It also means earlier detection. This week, at a conference at Stanford Law School, companies working on the technology said their tests could screen for defects at 10 weeks. But informally, the expected threshold for NIPT is seven to eight weeks, and possibly five.
Good rains and reduced conflict have helped aid groups reach hundreds of thousands of displaced people in Somalia who rely on their aid. The hunger crisis remains a delicate situation, though.
By Mike Pflanz,?Correspondent / May 31, 2012
Internally displaced Somali people stand in a queue waiting to be served with cooked food in Hodan district, south of the capital Mogadishu, in this file photo.
Feisal Omar/REUTERS/File
Enlarge
This time last year a series of alarming reports from Somalia?s hinterland warned aid agencies that a ?perfect storm? of factors was about to tip a long-running hunger crisis into Africa?s first famine in more than a decade.
Within months, 4 million people in one of the world?s most inaccessible countries needed urgent food handouts to keep them alive.
Today, thanks to better rains, reduced conflict, stable food prices, and international help, the situation is ?much improved? and there is ?little to no chance of a repeat of last year?s famine,? the United Nations reported.
?There are indications of improvement,? says Tamara Nanitashvili, chief technical advisor for the Food Security and Nutrition Analysis Unit (FSNAU) in Somalia, which is managed by the UN?s Food and Agriculture Organization.
?Pasture and water is available for livestock, the condition of the animals is very good, prices are favorable, and exports are up 42 percent compared to the same time last year," says Ms. Nanitashvili.
?We expect those exports to increase further in the upcoming season during Ramadan and Hajj.?
Still, 2.5 million Somalis, mostly in the country?s Islamist-held south, are officially classified as in ?emergency? or ?crisis.?
Almost a quarter of children aged under five are ?acutely malnourished,? Nanitashvili added during a briefing in Nairobi, Kenya?s capital, where the international aid effort for Somalia is headquartered.
And there were warnings that rainfall in some farming areas in Somalia?s south would be up to 20 percent below average, which may cause localized food shortages.
?It could affect crop production, but it is still a much better picture than last year,? said Abdullahi Khalif, national technical manager for Somalia for the USAID-funded Famine Early Warning Systems Network.
In the lead-up to the declaration of famine in Somalia in July last year, a series of factors combined to create one of the country?s worst ever food shortages.
First, Al Shabab, the Al Qaeda-linked militia controlling much of the south, banned international aid agencies from its territory during 2010, saying that Western charities were ?corrupting? the population.
Even in a good year, Somalia?s farmers cannot grow more than 40 percent of the food they need. The shortfall is largely made up for by international handouts. When these handouts dried up under the Al Shabab ban, nothing was left to fill the gap.
Soon after, the rains failed for two consecutive seasons, parching pastures, starving livestock, and withering crops in the fields. The cost of imported food, and the few stocks that traders had hoarded, shot up.
As the hunger began, hundreds of thousands of people gathered their belongings and tried to flee for help to neighboring countries. By the second half of 2011, international appeals for help topped $1.5 billion.
Now the picture looks significantly different. The good rains late last year and again early this year bodes well for the main harvest, due in July. ?Access for humanitarian agencies, mostly in Mogadishu, has also improved,? says Ms Nanitashvili.
But it would be wrong for the world to take its foot off the gas in terms of funding the international organizations ? many of them from Islamic countries ? that continue to operate in Somalia.
Al Shabab is, however, under pressure.
This week, it was pushed from Afgoye, a town northwest of Mogadishu where it is thought hundreds of thousands of people who fled famine have been squatting in makeshift camps. In theory, aid agencies can now reach them from the capital.
But on Tuesday, Islamist fighters ambushed President Sheikh Sharif?s convoy as it drove along the ?newly liberated? road from Mogadishu to Afgoye.?The President escaped unharmed but at least one of his military guards and two suspected Al Shabab fighters were killed.?
Despite pressure from Kenyan, Ethiopian, and African Union armies, Al Shabab still controls the major towns of Kismayo and Merka, and holds sway over most rural areas in Somalia?s south.
Almost three-fourths of the 2.5 million people still needing help live in these areas.
?In farming communities, you will not see famine in the coming months, but you will see it returning very soon if all international assistance is removed for one year, as happened last year,? Ms Nanitashvili warns.
Mystery of monarch migration takes new turnPublic release date: 31-May-2012 [ | E-mail | Share ]
Contact: Beverly Clark beverly.clark@emory.edu 404-712-8780 Emory University
Emory University study finds strong evidence that eastern and western monarchs belong to a single genetic population
During the fall, hundreds of millions of monarch butterflies living in eastern North America fly up to 1,500 miles to the volcanic forests of Mexico to spend the winter, while monarchs west of the Rocky Mountains fly to the California coast. The phenomenon is both spectacular and mysterious: How do the insects learn these particular routes and why do they stick to them?
A prevailing theory contends that eastern and western monarchs are genetically distinct, and that genetic mechanisms trigger their divergent migratory paths.
An analysis led by Emory University biologists, however, finds that the two groups of monarchs are genetically mixed. Their research, published in the journal Molecular Ecology, suggests that environmental factors may be the key to the butterflies' choice of winter homes, and to where they wind up in the spring.
"Our data gives the strongest signal yet that the eastern and western monarchs belong to a single genetic population," says Emory biologist Jaap de Roode, who led the research. "This distinction is important to help us better understand the behavior of the organism, and to conserve the monarch flyways."
In addition to researchers in the de Roode lab, the study involved a scientist from the Institute of Integrative Biology in Zurich, Switzerland.
Biologists have long been fascinated by the innate and learned behaviors underlying animal migrations. When monarchs are breeding, for instance, they can live up to four weeks, but when they are migrating, they can live as long as six months.
"As the day length gets shorter, their sexual organs do not fully mature and they don't put energy into reproduction. That enables them to fly long distances to warmer zones, and survive the winter," de Roode says. "It's one of the basic lessons in biology: Reproduction is very costly, and if you don't use it, you can live much longer."
Mass movements of animals have huge ecological impacts. They are also visually arresting, from the spectacle of giant herds of wildebeest trekking across the Serengeti to hundreds of thousands of sandhill cranes flocking along the banks of Nebraska's Platte River.
In the case of long-lived mammals and birds, the younger animals may learn some of the behaviors associated with migration. That's not the case with the monarchs, notes Amanda Pierce, a graduate student in Emory's Population Biology, Ecology and Evolution program, and a co-author of the study.
"We know there is no learning component for the butterflies, because each migration is separated by two to three generations," Pierce says. "To me, that makes the problem even more interesting. How can these small, delicate animals travel thousands of kilometers and arrive at the same destination as their great-great grandparents?"
The question of whether eastern and western monarchs are genetically the same has been hotly debated, and may be an essential piece to the puzzle of their divergent migration patterns.
The researchers used 11 genetic markers to compare the genetic structures of eastern and western monarchs, as well as non-migratory monarch populations in Hawaii and New Zealand. The results showed extensive gene flow between the eastern and western monarchs, and a genetic divergence between these North American butterflies and those from Hawaii and New Zealand.
"In a sense, the genetic markers provide a DNA 'fingerprint' for the butterflies," de Roode says. "Just by looking at this fingerprint, you can easily separate the butterflies of North America from those in Hawaii and New Zealand, but you can't tell the difference between the eastern and western monarchs."
The Emory researchers have now joined a project headed by Harvard, which also involves the University of Georgia and the University of Massachusetts, to sequence the full genomes of monarch butterflies from places around the world. That data should rule out genetic differences between the eastern and western monarchs, or reveal whether any smaller genetic differences, beyond the 11 markers used in the study, may be at play between the two groups.
The idea that eastern and western monarchs are distinct populations has been bolstered by tagging-and-tracking efforts based in the United States. That data, gathered through citizen science, indicates that the butterflies stay on separate sides of the Rocky Mountains a formidable high-altitude barrier.
De Roode, however, theorizes that when spring signals the eastern monarchs to leave the overwintering grounds in Mexico, they may simply keep radiating out, reproducing and expanding as long as they find milkweed plants, the food for their caterpillars.
"Few people have tagged the monarchs within Mexico to see where they go," he notes, "because Mexico doesn't have as much citizen science as the U.S."
If the theory is correct, some of the monarchs leaving Mexico each spring may wind up in western North America, while others may filter into the eastern United States. This influx to the western U.S. could be crucial to survival of monarchs on that side of the continental divide.
"There are far fewer monarchs west of the Rockies," de Roode says. He notes that all of the overwintering monarchs on a typical overwintering site along the California coast consist of about the same number clustered onto a single big tree in Mexico's Monarch Butterfly Biosphere Reserve, where hundreds of millions of monarchs blanket the landscape in the winter.
The monarch butterfly migration has been called an endangered phenomenon, due to the loss of habitat along the routes. The Mexican overwintering sites, located in the Trans-Mexican Volcanic Belt region northwest of Mexico City, particularly suffer from deforestation. Drug trafficking in the region has decimated eco-tourism and hampered efforts to protect the trees.
"We hope our research can aid in the conservation of the monarch flyways," de Roode says.
Raising monarchs for release at weddings, memorials and other events is a growing industry, but U.S. Department of Agriculture regulations restrict shipping the butterflies across state lines.
De Roode stresses that this regulation should remain in force, even if further research confirms that eastern and western monarchs are genetically identical, because parasites that the butterflies carry can differ by region. "It's not a good idea to be shipping parasites around," he says.
###
For the latest Emory research news, visit www.emory.edu/esciencecommons.
Emory University is known for its demanding academics, outstanding undergraduate experience, highly ranked professional schools and state-of-the-art research facilities. Emory encompasses nine academic divisions as well as the Carlos Museum, The Carter Center, the Yerkes National Primate Research Center and Emory Healthcare, Georgia's largest and most comprehensive health care system.
[ | E-mail | Share ]
?
AAAS and EurekAlert! are not responsible for the accuracy of news releases posted to EurekAlert! by contributing institutions or for the use of any information through the EurekAlert! system.
Mystery of monarch migration takes new turnPublic release date: 31-May-2012 [ | E-mail | Share ]
Contact: Beverly Clark beverly.clark@emory.edu 404-712-8780 Emory University
Emory University study finds strong evidence that eastern and western monarchs belong to a single genetic population
During the fall, hundreds of millions of monarch butterflies living in eastern North America fly up to 1,500 miles to the volcanic forests of Mexico to spend the winter, while monarchs west of the Rocky Mountains fly to the California coast. The phenomenon is both spectacular and mysterious: How do the insects learn these particular routes and why do they stick to them?
A prevailing theory contends that eastern and western monarchs are genetically distinct, and that genetic mechanisms trigger their divergent migratory paths.
An analysis led by Emory University biologists, however, finds that the two groups of monarchs are genetically mixed. Their research, published in the journal Molecular Ecology, suggests that environmental factors may be the key to the butterflies' choice of winter homes, and to where they wind up in the spring.
"Our data gives the strongest signal yet that the eastern and western monarchs belong to a single genetic population," says Emory biologist Jaap de Roode, who led the research. "This distinction is important to help us better understand the behavior of the organism, and to conserve the monarch flyways."
In addition to researchers in the de Roode lab, the study involved a scientist from the Institute of Integrative Biology in Zurich, Switzerland.
Biologists have long been fascinated by the innate and learned behaviors underlying animal migrations. When monarchs are breeding, for instance, they can live up to four weeks, but when they are migrating, they can live as long as six months.
"As the day length gets shorter, their sexual organs do not fully mature and they don't put energy into reproduction. That enables them to fly long distances to warmer zones, and survive the winter," de Roode says. "It's one of the basic lessons in biology: Reproduction is very costly, and if you don't use it, you can live much longer."
Mass movements of animals have huge ecological impacts. They are also visually arresting, from the spectacle of giant herds of wildebeest trekking across the Serengeti to hundreds of thousands of sandhill cranes flocking along the banks of Nebraska's Platte River.
In the case of long-lived mammals and birds, the younger animals may learn some of the behaviors associated with migration. That's not the case with the monarchs, notes Amanda Pierce, a graduate student in Emory's Population Biology, Ecology and Evolution program, and a co-author of the study.
"We know there is no learning component for the butterflies, because each migration is separated by two to three generations," Pierce says. "To me, that makes the problem even more interesting. How can these small, delicate animals travel thousands of kilometers and arrive at the same destination as their great-great grandparents?"
The question of whether eastern and western monarchs are genetically the same has been hotly debated, and may be an essential piece to the puzzle of their divergent migration patterns.
The researchers used 11 genetic markers to compare the genetic structures of eastern and western monarchs, as well as non-migratory monarch populations in Hawaii and New Zealand. The results showed extensive gene flow between the eastern and western monarchs, and a genetic divergence between these North American butterflies and those from Hawaii and New Zealand.
"In a sense, the genetic markers provide a DNA 'fingerprint' for the butterflies," de Roode says. "Just by looking at this fingerprint, you can easily separate the butterflies of North America from those in Hawaii and New Zealand, but you can't tell the difference between the eastern and western monarchs."
The Emory researchers have now joined a project headed by Harvard, which also involves the University of Georgia and the University of Massachusetts, to sequence the full genomes of monarch butterflies from places around the world. That data should rule out genetic differences between the eastern and western monarchs, or reveal whether any smaller genetic differences, beyond the 11 markers used in the study, may be at play between the two groups.
The idea that eastern and western monarchs are distinct populations has been bolstered by tagging-and-tracking efforts based in the United States. That data, gathered through citizen science, indicates that the butterflies stay on separate sides of the Rocky Mountains a formidable high-altitude barrier.
De Roode, however, theorizes that when spring signals the eastern monarchs to leave the overwintering grounds in Mexico, they may simply keep radiating out, reproducing and expanding as long as they find milkweed plants, the food for their caterpillars.
"Few people have tagged the monarchs within Mexico to see where they go," he notes, "because Mexico doesn't have as much citizen science as the U.S."
If the theory is correct, some of the monarchs leaving Mexico each spring may wind up in western North America, while others may filter into the eastern United States. This influx to the western U.S. could be crucial to survival of monarchs on that side of the continental divide.
"There are far fewer monarchs west of the Rockies," de Roode says. He notes that all of the overwintering monarchs on a typical overwintering site along the California coast consist of about the same number clustered onto a single big tree in Mexico's Monarch Butterfly Biosphere Reserve, where hundreds of millions of monarchs blanket the landscape in the winter.
The monarch butterfly migration has been called an endangered phenomenon, due to the loss of habitat along the routes. The Mexican overwintering sites, located in the Trans-Mexican Volcanic Belt region northwest of Mexico City, particularly suffer from deforestation. Drug trafficking in the region has decimated eco-tourism and hampered efforts to protect the trees.
"We hope our research can aid in the conservation of the monarch flyways," de Roode says.
Raising monarchs for release at weddings, memorials and other events is a growing industry, but U.S. Department of Agriculture regulations restrict shipping the butterflies across state lines.
De Roode stresses that this regulation should remain in force, even if further research confirms that eastern and western monarchs are genetically identical, because parasites that the butterflies carry can differ by region. "It's not a good idea to be shipping parasites around," he says.
###
For the latest Emory research news, visit www.emory.edu/esciencecommons.
Emory University is known for its demanding academics, outstanding undergraduate experience, highly ranked professional schools and state-of-the-art research facilities. Emory encompasses nine academic divisions as well as the Carlos Museum, The Carter Center, the Yerkes National Primate Research Center and Emory Healthcare, Georgia's largest and most comprehensive health care system.
[ | E-mail | Share ]
?
AAAS and EurekAlert! are not responsible for the accuracy of news releases posted to EurekAlert! by contributing institutions or for the use of any information through the EurekAlert! system.
A supernatural role play featuring Slayers & Hunters and the evils they fight.
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Forum for completely Out of Character (OOC) discussion, based around whatever is happening In Character (IC). Discuss plans, storylines, and events; Recruit for your roleplaying game, or find a GM for your playergroup. This is the auto-generated OOC topic for the roleplay "Harbingers"
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Dalmar
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The term cheating is one that elicits cringes of fear, gasps of horror.
What comes to mind when you hear it?
Most likely you imagine that a partner in a committed relationship had sexual intercourse with someone outside of their relationship.? But cheating can look like many things to many people.
To some it may indeed refer to sexual intercourse only.? To others it could be anything from an emotional attachment to another, fantasies of other partners, a kiss.
Rather than use the term cheating here, something that makes me think more of copying someone else?s answers on a test and less about who you share your body or heart with and when, I am going to use the term infidelity.
I define infidelity as any action that violates an implicit or explicit agreement between two people, thereby undermining the relationship.? The action may be physical or emotional in nature.? Dishonesty is often but certainly not always part of an infidelity.
As a relationship and sex therapist, infidelity is not a new or foreign topic to me.? It is in fact, one of the most common causes of couples seeking counseling.
Infidelity, whether considered, presumed, or committed.? To most couples, infidelity signifies a crisis.
Some can repair the damage done, turn an infidelity into an opportunity for growth and reconnection.? And some can?t, the loss of trust being irreparable for one, the continued anger and blame intolerable for the other.
I tend to be pretty proactive and pre-emptive in my work so my focus here is to talk about what I believe leads to infidelity and what I think you can do about it.
But first, a disclaimer. I am an LPC (licensed counselor) with a private practice in Portland, OR.? Portland is a very sex positive city with a visible and strong female presence.
The majority of my clients are ages 20-40 and most of them, particularly the women, I have noticed, have done a lot of thinking and talking about their sexuality before coming to see me.
What that means is that I am working with a pretty savvy group of folks here and they have a good grasp on what they want out of their sex lives.
Among this group of men and women, there is a fairly equal mix of those for whom a committed and monogamous long-term relationship is a goal and those for whom it is not.
More and more individuals and couples I work with are trying out open relationships because the concept of sexual exclusivity doesn?t jive with their worldview.
Some of the couples I work with who sought counseling due to an infidelity did so because they were trying to maintain a monogamous relationship based on their partners needs (or ultimatums) but couldn?t.
Certainly though, it is just as common for monogamy to have been a clearly stated (and not only assumed) mutually agreed upon desire and choice.
But the risk in monogamous relationships is that sex can start to feel lacking or uninteresting over time.? Some describe feeling like they or their partners feel like sex is more of a chore then an enjoyable way to get or give pleasure or connect.
I have many times heard it stated in session that they aren?t ready to give up and resign themselves to a sexless life and that if their partner can?t meet their needs, they will get them met elsewhere.
So what leads to affairs??
Here is what I see.? Reasons that are either 1. Emotional 2. Physical or 3. Practical
1.Emotional ????
Probably the most commonly cited cause of infidelity is a sense of emotional disconnection from a partner.? The person engaging in the infidelity will often describe having felt unappreciated, lonely, and sad.? They might fear abandonment or rejection.
These emotions can often lead to feelings of anger and resentment.? Emotional dissatisfaction can lead to affairs both emotional and physical in nature.
People may seek out others for emotional support and validation.? Or sex may be withheld from a partner because of anger.
2. Physical ????
In some cases a partner who has engaged in an infidelity will cite sexual dissatisfaction as being the reason they strayed.
In these cases sex may be not as often as they would like or as fulfilling as they would like; either because they are not receiving pleasure or reaching climax or because it lacks a certain chemistry or passion.
While for some, physical relationships can only feel enjoyable or safe when there is trust and intimacy, for others those same factors can make sex feel strange or awkward.
Some pairings are also just not as sexually compatible as others.? What turns one person on might make another deeply uncomfortable.
3. Practical ????
One thing I have observed in my practice is that there has been a shift in thinking, especially in younger generations, about the practicality and benefits of monogamy.
More and more people are choosing lifestyles and relationships that are non-monogamous.? But there is not yet a road map for how to have successful open relationships so people are crossing boundaries without a clear plan, honest communication, and clear expectations.
For instance, the primary factors that delineate an open relationship from an infidelity are mutual agreement and honesty.?
Here are the 6 things I believe everyone can do in order to minimize the risk of infidelity.?
1. Do the work it takes to get to know yourself as a sexual person.
Read books, take a workshop, talk to a counselor, journal.? Study your sexuality as you would any other subject you were trying to master.
Increase your own awareness about what you like and don?t like, what you fantasize about, how you like to be touched and where, what you would like to try.
2. Communicate who you are sexually to your partner
Don?t assume that they know!? Have an honest conversation at a time when you both feel relaxed.? This conversation doesn?t have to be about your particular sexual relationship with your partner, though that can be part of it.
It?s really about you.? Share as much as you filling willing to about what you learned from your work mentioned above.
3.? Ask questions and listen to who they are as a sexual person.
Learning about your partner?s desires and fantasies can both increase intimacy and be terribly fun!? You might think you know what your partner likes but chances are, unless you have asked them, you don?t know all of it.
One of the best things that can come from open dialog about sexuality is that it reminds partners of their own autonomy.? In order to desire someone else, they simply must be acknowledged as being a separate individual than you!
Knowing that you are curious about them as a sexually autonomous individual interested in exploring with them and can also help reduce risk that your partner will stray.
4.? Keep an open mind and heart and be willing to try new things together.
Try not to judge. In the realm of sexuality, almost anything goes (I say almost because the one caveat is that if another person is involved, it must be consensual).
People?s sexual desires and expressions are hugely varied and you should avoid making assumptions about what they mean as it is unique to each individual.
A general rule of thumb is to try anything once.? Getting outside of your comfort zone sexually can be an amazing growth experience and you may find that you are deeply attracted to things you had not before considered.
5. Affairs are distractions and people distract themselves when they are bored or unhappy.? An affair is a ?quick fix? with the long-term consequence, even if not discovered.
If you are bored or unhappy in your relationship, it?s easy to be more ?open? to others.? Something that may start as a lighthearted flirtation or pleasant conversation can quickly deepen and become a consuming distraction.
This is a slippery slope and can ultimately undermine any hopes of improving things with your partner.? Instead of distracting yourself and avoiding the problem, try to remain present and engaged with your partner.
Check yourself to see if you are doing something that you are not telling your partner about and ask yourself if it would make them uncomfortable if they did.? You and your partner share mutual responsibility for your relationship.
6.? Be honest.? Honest with yourself and honest with your partner.
Too many couples avoid the topic of sex, especially when it has been a long period of time since partners have had sex, because the subject feels too tense and overwhelming.
Continued avoidance makes it harder and harder to bridge the gap.? Honesty early on (before an affair) about your concerns can create an opening for a new level of intimacy.
Honesty after an affair will demonstrate accountability and remorse.? Many partners who ?discover? an affair say that the discovery and the deception were the worst part.
I strongly believe that any couple can improve their sex life at any time.? The biggest hurdle is starting to talk about a problem that has been ignored, like an elephant in the room.
Because of this, I highly recommend that couples call out the issue quickly and with respect and compassion.? Seeking the help of a counselor can facilitate this process and help break down any tension that might be building, providing a safe space in which to talk about it.
Couples can also read books or watch movies together (yes, this can include pornography) in order to open up a conversation about sexual experiences that you or your partner might be interested in having.? It is much easier to prevent an affair from happening then to repair the effects of having one.
Yes, your sexual needs are important.? If, after following the steps above, you find that you and your partner are still not able to enjoy sex together or remain committed to an agreement of monogamy, then the relationship might not be right for you.
If that is the case, discuss it with your partner and see if you want to work together to create a new plan or can agree to part ways with understanding and kindness.
About the author
Alyssa Siegel is a Licensed Professional Counselor with a private practice in Portland, Oregon where she works with individuals and couples, specializing in relationships and sexuality.
She is a member of the American CounselingAssociation, the National Board of Certified Counselors, the National Coalitionfor Sexual Freedom, and the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality.
Alyssais a contributing author to the book ?Your Brain On Sex, How Smarter Sex Can Change Your Life? and is regular columnist for Psychology Tomorrow.?
For more information please visit www.alyssasiegel.com.
Related posts:
5 Tips On How To Affair Proof Your Marriage
8 Tips To Affair-Proof Your Marriage
How To Affair-Proof Your Marriage
5 Tips On Building Trust After An Affair
49 Tips On How To Recover From An Affair
Tagged as: 6 Tips That Can Help Affair-Proof Your Relationships, Alyssa Siegel, www.alyssasiegel.com
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Public release date: 31-May-2012
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